I was born with no sphincter

Did you know that ducks lack the sphincter muscle? It just comes out, no matter what. It does not  make a difference if you train a duck it won’t matter they will poop if they need to poop. That why when you go to your local pet store there is no duck section; with little duck beds and toys. No one wants a pet that has no control over when it shits. I like a duck have no sphincter, however instead of the sphincter in my anus which is fully working, although it did let a little too much out to quickly this morning. No it is the sphincter that is situated in my brain, while it is an imaginary thing, it is just as important.


The sphincter in my brain does the same job, which is to keeping the shit out. Sometime i feel i was born without this. It’s not that i go out like a person with tourette and swear at every person i see or tell them what i truly think of them. If that was the case, i’d be fired from my job (i’d have a few comments) and i would have no friends. What happens is what comes out of my mouth albeit not offensive to anyone it will make my life a little more difficult, what i do  is i lie, lie a lot. Boy have i told a few porkers in my life.
A couple of highlights of the last few weeks are;

  1. I’m off traveling for three months; i used recycle details of my sister trip to add some more detail in to this lie.
  2. Saying i took my driving theory test a week earlier than i did, this was for no good reason, that why this is a strange one. *

The lies i do are basically make my life easier, i say them to get people off my back for that moment, but the problem with my lies are that they are easily found out and are only of a benefit for a short period of time.Another thing that the lack of  a brain sphincter means that rather than comment on other people in a negative way, i tend to comment on myself negative way and in opposition to my lying i will tell embarrassing facts in detriment to myself. Take this blog for example, in putting lie number 1 down it could make life kind of complected for the next few weeks  if the wrong people see it.So in conclusion i am a fucking idiot, that makes an already complicated existence that little more complicated.

* I did pass my driving theory test (no lie)

Other news of note

  • Leeds rhinos won for a change, Brian McDermott (the coach) needs to go.
  • I am reading Lord of the rings as watching the movies had made crave the read.
  • I am having a lot of writing trouble at the moment and it’s making me reconsider a few things.

3 thoughts on “I was born with no sphincter

  1. Dong Cerulli

    Maybe you have considered adding a little extra than just your thoughts? I’m talking about, what you say is important and every thing. But its got no punch, no pop! Possibly for those who added a pic or two, a video? You could have such a a lot more effective blog should you let individuals SEE what youre talking about as an alternative to just reading it.

  2. deb baker

    Hi Joel, my hubby and I got a few laughs reading ducks have no sphincter, and neither does your brain. Hehe


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