“It’s bloody boiling”, “I sweated like an epileptic pig being spit roasted on the walk home.” and the “the heat has given me a rash in my ass crack” a selection of thing’s i have said due to the weather. Would you rather be too hot or too cold? my answer changes in whatever climatic i happen to be in. In the cold, my feet turn in to ice cubes, in the heat, my shit turns to liquid thus diarrhea, sure diarrhea sound worse, but my feet do get bloody cold. Today has beeeeeen lovely, we enjoyed a BBQ (i ate lot’s of meat this good Friday) but my body that has does me so many favors in the past for me, decided it would not only sweat from the usual places (armpits, face and arms) but my ass crack…… I already regret this blog.
It’s not all ass crack sweat and liquid poop. I like to burn to, not tan just burn. I’m sure i have the ginger gene’s; just the bad ones, i don’t get their great hair. My body can’t cope. If i was alive 100 years ago, i would not be alive for any reasonable amount of time, after leaving the relative safety of the womb. I am certainly not the most athletic, i’d have no chance of surviving a war or something worse, my days spent playing FPS game’s just would not be good enough. I get a runny nose at the slightest moment, i can be plagued with eczema (not stylish in the early 1900’s or now in fact). It’s not just that i’d die pretty quick, but mother nature has done a smart thing to stop me from spreading my weak gene’s by making me completely repulsive to women. Men seem to love me!
Very clever of her (she deserves the credit it is earth day after all).
No….. enough of this. The only reason i make fun of my self, is so other don’t. You can’t go “hey you, you have a big nose and small hand’s” when i just mention it a moment ago, your not gonna think anyone cares if they joke about it. Guess i am so self conscious, i would rather make fun of my own flaws than have on the small off chance someone mention it.
This is my mind in a nutshell. I start of talking about ass cracks and i go off on a tangent about how i would not survive a 100 years ago, what the fuck is that about? Then about being self concision, what kinda of a guy put’s that on a blog. I will tell you what kinda of a guy does that, a fucking horny one; with nothing better to do. Did i just say i was horny on a place that can be seen by anyone? Shit i could delete it, but there is no fun in that.
I need this 4 day weekend, think i’m going slightly mental, best just play some portal 2 cool down, been in the hear all day. My ass is still sweaty……………… one good thing has come from this strange post, i have learned that before i write a blog in this heat i should get a cold shower.
Other news of note
Like said in that crazy post, i have got portal 2 and it’s great so far, same creepiness and cool puzzles like the first one; now with Stephen Merchant.
When shopping and bought, a wallet, some new (not old ones) sunglasses and some jeans. WOW! why my blog does not have more views is a mystery to me. I only say the most interesting thing.
I promise my next post will be much serious and make more sense………. at least i will try.